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All things hang gliding. This is the main forum. New users, introduce yourself.

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User avatar
By whitemaw
#241912
Andrea found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.

At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days." Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either.

If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."
User avatar
By voo
#242000
Think outside the buns
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User avatar
By SeeMarkFly
#242005
voo wrote:Think outside the buns
More like between the buns. :rofl:

Historically, the further distance we can keep the kitchen from the bathroom, the HEALTHIER people have been.

it is logical to want to do something with all the protein (nitrogen too) contained in sewage.
Logic will always be logical, but sometimes it's just not a good idea.
Grow flowers instead.
User avatar
By Erik Boehm
#242009
Someone was told to eat a s*** sandwhich... and took it seriously
User avatar
By Cav_Man_77
#242015
Two nuns were laying in their room in the dark.

One turns to the other and says, "Where's the candle?"

The other nun says, "It does a bit, doesn't it?"
User avatar
By Erik Boehm
#242032
I don't get it...

The only thing I can figure is that the candle is possibly a sex toy.
User avatar
By SeeMarkFly
#242036
Erik Boehm wrote:I don't get it...
Cav_Man_77 wrote:One turns to the other and says, "Where's the candle?"
Wears the candle?
User avatar
By RavenHawk
#242048
Re: Think outside the buns

"Do you want flies with that?"

:crazy:
User avatar
By dayhead
#242054
Life is like a s*** sandwich. The more bread you have the less s*** you have to eat.
User avatar
By Terry from Toronto
#242229
RavenHawk wrote:Re: Think outside the buns

"Do you want flies with that?"

:crazy:
Too good. That gets the award.
:-)
TR
User avatar
By whitemaw
#242580
From Poets.org:

For the Man with the Erection Lasting More than Four Hours
by John Hodgen


He's supposed to call his doctor, but for now he's the May King with his own Maypole.
He's hallelujah. He's glory hole. The world has more women than he can shake a stick
at. The world is his brickbat, no conscience to prick at, all of us Germans he can ich
lieber dich at. He's d*** and Jane. He's Citizen Kane. He's Bob Dole.
He's Peter the Great. He's a czar. He's a clown car with an extra car.
Funiculi, Funicula. He's an organ donor. He works pro boner. He's folderol.
He's fiddlesticks. He's the light left on at Motel 6. He's free-for-alls.
He's Viagra Falls. He's bangers and mash. He's balderdash. He's a wanker.
He's got his own anchor. He's whack-a-doodle. King Canoodle. He's a pirate, Long John
Silver, walking his own plank. He has science to thank. He's in like Flynn. He's Gunga Din,
holding his breath, c*** of the walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He's Icarus,
hickory dickorous, the mouse run up the clock. He's shock and awe. He's Arkansas.
He's the package, the deal, the Good Housekeeping Seal. He's Johnson and Johnson.
He's a god now, the talk of the town. He's got no place to go but down.
User avatar
By whitemaw
#242728
Where the Texas Longhorn logo came from:
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User avatar
By SeeMarkFly
#242821
Your ham radio license is good for ten years, this is the year that I have to renew (expires next month).
The FCC has a new on-line automated system that works great.
I only had one small problem.
From: wild_high_mark@*******
Subject: KG6HOT
Date: June 24, 2011 9:02:47 AM PDT
To: *********@fcc.gov

I recently used your on-line system to update my license.

I hardly ever give out my email address but I thought it was important on my ham radio license (one more communication route possible).
The day after I used your web site, I started receiving MASSIVE amounts of spam in my email account.
All the (new) spam has a noticeable BOLD type-font compared to any of the other spam I (normally) receive.
and I received a response within 24 hours.
From: FCCInfo@fcc.gov
Subject: CIMS00003144848 - KG6HOT
Date: June 24, 2011 2:34:23 PM PDT
To: wild_high_mark@********


You are receiving this email in response to your inquiry to the FCC.

Dear Mr. Webber,

Thank you for contacting the Federal Communications Commission.

The Universal Licensing System (ULS) is an interactive licensing database developed by the Wireless Telecommunications Bureau to consolidate pre-existing licensing systems used to process applications and grant licenses in wireless services. ULS provides numerous benefits, including fast and easy electronic filing, improved data accuracy through automated checking of applications, and enhanced electronic access to licensing information for the public. ULS supports electronic filing and provides public access to licensing information. Public access files are created for all of the radio services that are contained in ULS.

In accordance with Section 0.453(h)(1) of the Commission's rules, 47 C.F.R., Sect; 0.453(h)(1) all authorizations in the Wireless Radio Services and files relating thereto, are available to the public. In accordance with Section 0.460(a) of the Commission's rules, 47 C.F.R. , Sect; 0.460(a), these documents are also available to the public on the World Wide Web located at www.fcc.gov . Licensee information is of public and historical record.

The FCC provides information on its Internet site as a public service. This information may be used by the public in any lawful manner seen fit. Some of the FCC web pages also contain hypertext links to other public and private organizational websites; these links are provided to the public for convenience only.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) adopted detailed rules that restrict sending unwanted commercial e-mail messages to computers. To find out more about the FTC's rules, visit http://www.ftc.gov/spam/.

You may want to contact your ISP as they may have the ability to provide "blocking" of these unsolicited e-mails and/or pop-ups.; or see if your e-mail program has "blocking" tools that can be utilized.

You also may be able to take legal action for harassment. You should contact your ISP for assistance and to learn about their company's policy, or consider seeking legal advice from an attorney.

Please also note that enhanced services, such as electronic mail or internet access services, are not regulated under Title II of the Communications Act of 1934; thus are not within the regulatory jurisdiction of the FCC. The FCC does not regulate the Internet, Internet access, Internet content, or Internet Service Providers (ISPs).

Thank you for your inquiry.

Brenda Althoff
Consumer Advocate and Mediation Specialist
Federal Communications Commission
Consumer and Governmental Affairs Bureau

Representative Number : TSR22
Here is my response.
From: wild_high_mark@********
Subject: Re: CIMS00003144848 - KG6HOT
Date: June 25, 2011 5:12:19 AM PDT
To: FCCInfo@fcc.gov
Cc: ***********@fcc.gov

Useless
Absolutely useless.

Thank you for your quick answer.
I have been in this situation before, where I ask trained professionals to solve the problem and I am told "there is no problem", so I know how to react.
I have gone back into the FCC database and updated my personal information.

YOU no longer have an accurate email address on me.
I did not eliminate the address, I used a non-existent address to give the spammers something to do.

YOU no longer have an accurate phone number for me.
I HATE tele-marketers. The last conversation I had with a tele-marketer I said "I don't think It's fair, I just got out of jail for murdering a tele-marketer and I have NOT had the chance to open up a checking account. Where can I take my cash to purchase your fine product?". He hung up on ME!

YOU no longer have an accurate street address for me.
I changed my street address to my neighbors house, he uses the junk mail to start fires in his wood stove.
If I receive any "official" looking letters, he walks over and hands them to me.

Can you please describe to me what your job actually is?
Maintaining an accurate record of Ham radio operators?
Way to go!

I suggest that you revoke MY license due to my inability to play this stupid game.
No wonder there is a revolution every 200 years, feels like it's a bit overdue right now.

Useless.
Absolutely useless.
I am NOW officially a "Grumpy Old Man".
User avatar
By Fred Wilson
#243113
Laugh your ass off stuff. (Or moan when you compare BBC to what we have to put up with over here with US TV (lack of) Comedy...)

For The Love Of Mrs Brown
Some of you may have seen this UK TV show before and for overseas visitors you may need an interpreter!
Be warned, lots of use of the F word for those of a sensitive disposition,
ie Royal Marines, SAS etc......

- http://www.youtube.com/user/mrsbrownsboysoffical
- http://www.mrsbrownsboys.com/Mrs_Brown/Welcome.html
- http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mrs-Brown ... 5589844613

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Part 2:

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User avatar
By whitemaw
#243786
Charlie Sheen - Halloween
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