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User avatar
By Bill Cummings
#225289
Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are
walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole;
I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something
down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here,
give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and
two and three, and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and
they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush,
run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the
hole
and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks
up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat
around here anywhere, did you?"

The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just
standing
here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin'
about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible,
I had him chained to a transmission!"



:roflcat:
User avatar
By jjcote
#225324
Bill Cummings wrote:The old farmer said, "That's impossible,
I had him chained to a transmission!"
This is almost exactly a scene from the movie Hear My Song, except it takes place in Ireland, it's a big rock and a cow, and the two guys figure out what's going on and narrowly avoid disaster. It's really funny.
User avatar
By LadyHawk
#225350
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User avatar
By whitemaw
#225365
Global Facts about Sex

At Any Given Moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now!

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT: 1 elderly person is surfing HangGliding.org

You hang in there, Sunshine
User avatar
By Avnav8r
#225371
Hey Y'all,

You may have heard this one before, but here goes...

Bill, the neighborhood postal carrier was finally ready to retire after 35 years. Many of the residents along his route decided to give him a present on his last day of delivery. At one house, he got a gold watch. At another, a fruit basket and so it went. He got to the last house on the block and was met at the door by beautiful Mrs. Jones, who was dressed in a sexy nightgown. She took Bill by the hand, led him upstairs to the bedroom and made sweet, passionate love to him. Afterwards, she invited him into the kitchen where she made him a bountiful breakfast. Bill was both stunned and pleased. Mrs. Jones said, "I almost forgot one thing!" At this, she reached into her purse and pulled out a crisp, one dollar bill and handed it to Bill. He asked, "What's this for?" To this she replied, "I told my husband that you were retiring and that everyone in the neighborhood was giving you something on your last day of work. I asked him what should we get you? His answer was, "F*ck him! Give him a dollar." The breakfast was my idea!"

John Stokes
www.osceolabaldeagle.com
User avatar
By Fawkes
#225384
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By Phoenix
#225435
Last edited by Phoenix on Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
By selbaer
#225502
:thumbsup:
Attachments
Police_Speed_Camera_T.jpg
Police_Speed_Camera_T.jpg (105.44 KiB) Viewed 3617 times
User avatar
By whitemaw
#225620
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User avatar
By slimchance
#225628
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Now that was good! :roflcat:
User avatar
By BBJCaptain
#225635
Are you going to finish those?

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User avatar
By BBJCaptain
#225666
Deleted Scene

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User avatar
By Erik Boehm
#225758
Selbaer:
Too bad thats BS.

The most obvious BS part is when they call a sidewinder an air to ground missile.

Other BS parts include the automatic missile launch system, that a radar gun would be detected and considered a hostile radar system, and that a radar jammer would render a radar gun unable to be reset.
User avatar
By kukailimoku
#225759
Erik Boehm wrote:Selbaer:
Too bad thats BS.

The most obvious BS part is when they call a sidewinder an air to ground missile.

Other BS parts include the automatic missile launch system, that a radar gun would be detected and considered a hostile radar system, and that a radar jammer would render a radar gun unable to be reset.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp
User avatar
By selbaer
#225806
too bad, it sounded funny
User avatar
By CHassan
#225808
I had a strong feeling it was fake, but the story was funny enough to read and chuckle at. Much like the rest of the stories here.
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