- Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:45 am
#166293
I was thinking about this on the way up to takeoff today.
I gave myself points for recognizing it.
It doesn't make things easier... I don't think anything does... but it does help to recognize when you're in it.
The hardest thing we do is not simply "not flying". That's part of it, but the devil is in the details.
It's easy when it's obvious. It's easy when it's someone else. It's easy to see after the fact, no matter if you chose right or wrong.
What's not easy is when you're in the hot seat.
It's not "recognizing bad conditions", bad mental states, or any of the little things that we like to label so we can tick off boxes on our little lists.
It's a very personal decision.
I call it "walking the line".
It's easy to sit back in a nice comfortable chair and talk theory. To say "any time you don't feel 100%, don't go", but I call this hogwash. None of us would be flying today if we truly believed that.
Allow me to illustrate.
Think back to your first high flight. Can you honestly tell me you felt 100%?
Of course you can't (anyone that says they can is full of it).
You'd never done a high flight in your life. There is absolutely no way that was comfortable.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's "walking the line".
Now I fly nearly every day. I'm as current as they get. I'm no rock star, but I do have some skills. I've got good equipment and I know how to use it. I live at a flying site that I fly constantly.
And it doesn't mean squat!
In fact, any time I start thinking it does, I have to step back and give myself some ticks on the "scary" side of the scales.
"Confidence... that feeling you get before you truly understand the situation".
It doesn't mean squat because the actual problem remains the same. 4 wheel drive doesn't get you out of the mud... it lets you get stuck in deeper mud.
See the conditions we fly in safely depend a lot on us. All that our skill and equipment do is change where that line between go and no-go is. I have upper limits just the same as anyone else. They're different than anyone else too, which makes it a very personal decision.
And I'm sorry to tell you.
It does not get easier.
The need to fly is no less. That draw to get in the air colors my decisions as it always has. I gave myself points today simply because I recognized that I was walking the line and had he presence of mind to know that the desire to fly was coloring my perceptions. Again, it did not in any way make things easier. It does help you to make smarter decisions, but damn I wanted to fly!
And it wasn't a lack of flying pushing me along. I'd done two flights already. Like I said, it doesn't get easier.
Here's where the real trick of it comes in.
I've flown strong conditions like this before. Same direction, same character, same site, etc. But that doesn't matter. All that matters is now. Do I "feel the love"?
Now it's easy to say "if you're thinking like that, then don't fly". But again, hogwash. This is the demon we wrestle with. Things aren't always black and white and you're kidding yourself if you think they are. I walk the line for a living. It is by far the hardest thing we do. Again, none of us would be flying if we didn't.
Since it's such a personal decision, everyone deals with it in a different manner. Please find what works for you. I can describe what works for me, but you must find your own way.
I slow things down. I decide to make decisions. I will hike up this far, then wait and see... I will setup and see... la la la. All with the understanding as well that each step colors the next. The further you drive to a flying site, the better the weather will look. If you setup, the weather will look better. The more battons your glider has, the better things look... etc.
I hiked up to launch... it's about 10 minutes to the takeoff and pretty steep. I could hear the wind in the trees. I knew the wind in the valley. I was listening to the gusts. I was writing this post in my head... I'd been here before a few times. Same site, same type of weather. Sometimes I've flown, and sometimes not. Often it was good when I did. I'd be lying if I said it always was. The bad flights weren't horrible, but you know when you've chosen wrong. You know when you've pushed things just that little bit too far.
I was very much wondering what today would be.
Others had flown today, but much earlier. It was very late day now.
At each stop, I was happy enough to go to the next one and see. Not super happy, but happy enough.
I got to takeoff.
And had a seat.
If I've learned one thing, it's to wait.
Some days you rock up to takeoff and just pop off. Those are the easy days. I knew this wasn't one of them. So I waited.
Not the kind of wait where you're talking yourself into something.
This was about getting a good feel for the character of the air.
Letting all the "gotta go!" settle down.
One of my favorite tricks a buddy of mine uses is he makes a sandwich. Absolutely brilliant.
Then, after a little bit.. time for the call.
And I never question it after I make it. That's an other huge thing in my book. If you pull the pin (as we say), you don't look back. If you fly, you fly.
As I said, I wrote this in my head before the decision. It's easy to write this stuff if you pull the pin. There's a bit of self-congratulation in that. It's easy to write when you call it wrong ("there I was, I thought I was going to die"). Nobody really writes much about when it's a tough call and you do fly... not much story in that ("what were you nervous about?").
Today I pulled the pin.
But walking down isn't the hard bit.
Walking the line is.
It's easier on the way down. The rosy colored glasses are gone. It's easier to see clearly. But only if you don't look back. If you do allow yourself to look back... you've put the rosy glasses back on. You're back in "decision mode" and your desire to fly will taint your judgment again. If I walk away, I walk away.
The decision when things aren't perfect is the tricky bit.
I hope that I can continue to make the right choices.
I hope you do as well.
Jim
I gave myself points for recognizing it.
It doesn't make things easier... I don't think anything does... but it does help to recognize when you're in it.
The hardest thing we do is not simply "not flying". That's part of it, but the devil is in the details.
It's easy when it's obvious. It's easy when it's someone else. It's easy to see after the fact, no matter if you chose right or wrong.
What's not easy is when you're in the hot seat.
It's not "recognizing bad conditions", bad mental states, or any of the little things that we like to label so we can tick off boxes on our little lists.
It's a very personal decision.
I call it "walking the line".
It's easy to sit back in a nice comfortable chair and talk theory. To say "any time you don't feel 100%, don't go", but I call this hogwash. None of us would be flying today if we truly believed that.
Allow me to illustrate.
Think back to your first high flight. Can you honestly tell me you felt 100%?
Of course you can't (anyone that says they can is full of it).
You'd never done a high flight in your life. There is absolutely no way that was comfortable.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's "walking the line".
Now I fly nearly every day. I'm as current as they get. I'm no rock star, but I do have some skills. I've got good equipment and I know how to use it. I live at a flying site that I fly constantly.
And it doesn't mean squat!
In fact, any time I start thinking it does, I have to step back and give myself some ticks on the "scary" side of the scales.
"Confidence... that feeling you get before you truly understand the situation".
It doesn't mean squat because the actual problem remains the same. 4 wheel drive doesn't get you out of the mud... it lets you get stuck in deeper mud.
See the conditions we fly in safely depend a lot on us. All that our skill and equipment do is change where that line between go and no-go is. I have upper limits just the same as anyone else. They're different than anyone else too, which makes it a very personal decision.
And I'm sorry to tell you.
It does not get easier.
The need to fly is no less. That draw to get in the air colors my decisions as it always has. I gave myself points today simply because I recognized that I was walking the line and had he presence of mind to know that the desire to fly was coloring my perceptions. Again, it did not in any way make things easier. It does help you to make smarter decisions, but damn I wanted to fly!
And it wasn't a lack of flying pushing me along. I'd done two flights already. Like I said, it doesn't get easier.
Here's where the real trick of it comes in.
I've flown strong conditions like this before. Same direction, same character, same site, etc. But that doesn't matter. All that matters is now. Do I "feel the love"?
Now it's easy to say "if you're thinking like that, then don't fly". But again, hogwash. This is the demon we wrestle with. Things aren't always black and white and you're kidding yourself if you think they are. I walk the line for a living. It is by far the hardest thing we do. Again, none of us would be flying if we didn't.
Since it's such a personal decision, everyone deals with it in a different manner. Please find what works for you. I can describe what works for me, but you must find your own way.
I slow things down. I decide to make decisions. I will hike up this far, then wait and see... I will setup and see... la la la. All with the understanding as well that each step colors the next. The further you drive to a flying site, the better the weather will look. If you setup, the weather will look better. The more battons your glider has, the better things look... etc.
I hiked up to launch... it's about 10 minutes to the takeoff and pretty steep. I could hear the wind in the trees. I knew the wind in the valley. I was listening to the gusts. I was writing this post in my head... I'd been here before a few times. Same site, same type of weather. Sometimes I've flown, and sometimes not. Often it was good when I did. I'd be lying if I said it always was. The bad flights weren't horrible, but you know when you've chosen wrong. You know when you've pushed things just that little bit too far.
I was very much wondering what today would be.
Others had flown today, but much earlier. It was very late day now.
At each stop, I was happy enough to go to the next one and see. Not super happy, but happy enough.
I got to takeoff.
And had a seat.
If I've learned one thing, it's to wait.
Some days you rock up to takeoff and just pop off. Those are the easy days. I knew this wasn't one of them. So I waited.
Not the kind of wait where you're talking yourself into something.
This was about getting a good feel for the character of the air.
Letting all the "gotta go!" settle down.
One of my favorite tricks a buddy of mine uses is he makes a sandwich. Absolutely brilliant.
Then, after a little bit.. time for the call.
And I never question it after I make it. That's an other huge thing in my book. If you pull the pin (as we say), you don't look back. If you fly, you fly.
As I said, I wrote this in my head before the decision. It's easy to write this stuff if you pull the pin. There's a bit of self-congratulation in that. It's easy to write when you call it wrong ("there I was, I thought I was going to die"). Nobody really writes much about when it's a tough call and you do fly... not much story in that ("what were you nervous about?").
Today I pulled the pin.
But walking down isn't the hard bit.
Walking the line is.
It's easier on the way down. The rosy colored glasses are gone. It's easier to see clearly. But only if you don't look back. If you do allow yourself to look back... you've put the rosy glasses back on. You're back in "decision mode" and your desire to fly will taint your judgment again. If I walk away, I walk away.
The decision when things aren't perfect is the tricky bit.
I hope that I can continue to make the right choices.
I hope you do as well.
Jim